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Markael Luterra's avatar

"Maybe, that I am no longer looking at what life springs up as something to immediately pull, clean out or cover up— as something that shouldn’t be there. I am opening my perception for nature’s way to teach me more about who I am and who she is, opening to the intelligence that exists under the surface, hidden out of sight, knowing now, that there is a purpose and a gift in what I have denied, forced and fought, as I allow it a place to be seen, observed, appreciated. In time, as I learn from these new sources, gain new experiences, I can make new choices in how to actively participate with this nature, in a way more attuned to the true gifts within me and in support to what is around me."

This is the challenge, the balance I seek. Where is the boundary between control and participation? Perhaps there is no "right way" to garden, and some will grow food and flowers among a riot of green and others in mulched or weeded rows, and there is no need for judgment either way. Perhaps it is less about how it appears outside and more about how it feels inside. Do my activities feel like a meditative tending as I hoe and weed and water, or does it feel like I am doing battle against weeds and pests and deer? If it feels like battle, how can I both surrender and shift that more to participation? Sometimes I find that taller fences, deep mulches, row covers can simply set a boundary in a way that feels like extending my self, my own boundary, outward to include the plants in my care rather than seeking control. And then there is the question of what the land itself wants, a matter of listening and receptivity in co-creation.

If I were still an ecologist I would want to ask the question: what becomes of the landscapes covered in scotch broom, if left undisturbed for decades? What about blackberries? What effects are these plants having on the soil over time that is perhaps preparing it for renewed diversity? Nature will not sustain a monoculture, and I have seen old blackberry thickets die suddenly, as if they have served their purpose and exhausted whatever it is that they need but cannot themselves supply. If we can understand these processes rather than fighting them, then how can we help them along to reach a state of balance, which may be quite different from the plant community of 1850 but no less valuable or whole?

Thank you for sharing your journey of re-wilding, within and without!

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Hannah King's avatar

Yes! The balance- I have had the word recalibrate come up for me a lot this year, how we can swing to one side of the scale sometimes in extreme imbalance but that is a necessary step to coming closer to center, if balance is the desired outcome. We adjust little by little over time. I agree with you, that it is less about appearance and more about how it feels on the inside, and there is no need for judgement. "If it feels like battle, how can I both surrender and shift that more to participation?" Totally, that's it. The question to be asking. For me, I feel in alignment the more I allow the wild plants room and befriend them, I find this new process is meaningful on many levels, and that too, is what makes a life well lived, personal meaning, our intimate connection to the way we are moving through.

I appreciate your considerations around leaving previously managed landscapes undisturbed for years. The preparation for "renewed diversity" All I know, is I trust nature's way whether I understand it or not! Thank you so much for this thoughtful response!

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Michele Mayama's avatar

Thank you for sharing more of your own transformative story. In my somewhat similar experience, I learned that my body disregulates as I open a door of allowed surrender to the intelligence of my nature knowing. Each time, a precise unfolding sequence inspires awe in hindsight, and I grow trust in my sensate body’s genius in restoring wholeness and holiness. Wild flower blessings!🌼

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Hannah King's avatar

Thank you Michele for reading and sharing. Yes! The body's genius for restoration and holiness, I appreciate your words and hearing from you and others who can share in this experience. Wildflower blessings to you as well!

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Esther Sharp's avatar

Such richness here, thank you for the beautiful advocacy for allowing and even trusting the beingness of our Selves.

Self Heal showed up to me a few years ago and had such a profound influence that I chose it as my one and only tattoo. I’d be very interested if your musical friend ever shares that Self Heal song…

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Hannah King's avatar

Esther, thank you so much for commenting, I greatly appreciate your words. Self-heal must be on a mission to meet us one by one. I love that! When I connect again with my friend, I will see if she has any recordings or links of it, and I will send it to you!

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teri nelson's avatar

Hannah,

What a gift to read this! Thank you for sharing this wonderful insight into nature and growth.

Your words are magic.

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Hannah King's avatar

Thank you so so much Teri. I feel like some words are magic spells, I am delighted to know you know it too.

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